Turns out, quite a lot…
When I was born, my parents named me Tamsin Sanna Locise. This is the name on my birth certificate.
At school I started writing Tamzin with a z because I thought it looked cool. It stuck, and when at 16 I opened my first bank account and applied for a passport, nobody questioned my writing it with a z. Possibly because there wasn’t another Tamsin/Tamzin Locise on the planet!
My grandfather was given the name Locise when he came to England from Poland as a child. He and his brother who were just eight and nine years old were put on a boat and told to find the Polish community in East London when they arrived. They couldn’t speak a word of English and when asked their names at the border, they just kept saying the name of their village. Their papers were stamped with Locise and my grandfather produced two sons to carry on his new name. My uncle didn’t have any children, so it was just us in the phone book.
I found my surname annoying until I got married. Nobody could pronounce it properly, and if the c was written too far round it looked like a u, and therefore Louise 🙄. This was in the days when people still wrote everything by hand, with pen and paper. When computers and word processors came along, the suggested spelling of Tamzin Locise was Tampon Locust! And yes, I did once send out a letter with that on it.
My dad’s theatrical name was L’cise (he found people could pronounce it better) and he carried it into his jewellery making world.
I happily embraced my married name of Tamzin McGann, using @tammcgannlifestyle on social media. I had a website tamzinmcgann.com, so I kept the name when I divorced. I told my husband I was keeping the name and he told me I’d earned it. While I am still not quite sure what he meant by that, perhaps being his third wife and having lasted longer than his first and second put together, it was simply the truth.
I’ve been divorced more than six years now, and although I changed my social media handle to @ladylociselifestyle over a year ago, I’ve only just got around to making it official. In doing so I had to find my birth certificate, as this is the only document I have with my maiden name on it. My marriage and divorce certificates seem to have disappeared.
I saw Tamsin with an s and I felt something inside soften. I really don’t have the words, but I felt a physical shift in my vibration when I saw my original name written.
My passport has just come up for renewal, and while I have no intention of travelling in the current climate, it triggered me to go back to the roots of who I am, as I build Taima Blends. It has led to a realisation: although I lost my identity out there for a while, the two things I have unwavering faith in brought me back — Cannabis & Reiki.
In reconnecting with my real name, as I approach my fiftieth birthday, I have truly found myself, who I am and what I am here for.
Tamsin Locise, Alchemist Founder @taimablends
As I was editing this blog to post, I received a text on my phone. It was an image with this message; 'spotted this morning, was visiting my Mum’
Thank you Paul for sending it and thank you daddy for letting me know you’re reading every word. Love you.